So You Married An Artist. NOW what?

For every non-art person that marries an artist, I think there's something that's very important to keep in mind: your spouse is cheating on you. And no, not in an actual physical, sexual way, a la any member of Congress, but in the occasional spiritual way. Every passionate artist is always married to two people: their spouse, and their muse.
The spouse of an artist is the one that, hopefully, married them because they appreciate all aspects of their artist hubbie/wife, including that they expose the non-artist spouse to a different side of culture that you'd probably not be aware of, otherwise. This includes all the eccentric artist friends, the strange exhibits/events that they are involved in, as well as the biggest factor: that their attention and passion isn't always directed towards their non-artist spouse.
This last factor is probably the biggest point of contention with spouses of artists, and understandably so. I've been getting more and more into film production lately, and you can only imagine the baffled look on my wife's face when I told her my film buddies and I are going to be filming a short comedic skit on the weekend about a jogger that gets stalked by a duck. It's a clever and quirky script (I think...), but to a merchandise analyst for a Fortune 500 company that got a Finance degree, you can only imagine how random and strange this notion is, especially when it means there is time taken away from her. These flights of fancy are met with confusion, and sometimes betrayal, because they realize--you've been seeing HER again, haven't you? That MUSE of yours! I thought I sensed her visit the other night, when you were typing madly until 2 am on your computer!
But that's just how creatives think. It's especially how we think, when the 9-to-5 job is working at a printing shop making brochures for church and school functions, or doing page layout for textbooks, or cranking out blase' signage for strip mall shops, or anything else that's cut-and-dry and not very creatively-motivating. Sure, our bodies are there earning a living, but our minds are already thinking about the next piece of canvas we're going to go to town on that night. When we're done having dinner, put the kid to bed...we then get to hang out with the muse.
I appreciate having such a polar opposite for a spouse. In fact, I highly recommend that very imaginative artists HAVE a more conservative spouse, because it just really helps keep you grounded with your dreams and ambitions. In my case, I want to do it all--animation, gaming, film, children's book publishing, comic books. I have my fingers in all of it. My wife, however, brings a good sense of pragmatism to the flights of "inspiration" that I have, and has been a very good rudder for my after-hours ambitions, as she has a very different point of view that's more focused on the big picture. Many a time, when I suddenly talk about how fascinating Chinese calligraphy is, and how I should go invest in a fifty dollar brush and ink set, she's very useful at putting things in a better perspective:
"Wait, Jason, what happened to that comic book you started? You got five pages into it, are you done with that project yet?"
"Did you ever wrap up that children's book and submit it to that agent? You know you have an open invitation from her, and that's what you're mostly interested in pursuing, so don't get sidetracked!"
"Whoa, hold on! You've got a week before that deadline on that freelance project! Are you done with that, yet? That check would definitely help us get ahead on that student loan you wanted to pay off!"
These are the best types of critical remarks from non-artist spouses, for they're not discouraging of what I'm doing, but just trying to keep me focused on main priorities with my career that helps move me forward, instead of just aimlessly floating off to the next shiny object in my view port.
If I married another artist, they'd either be just as distracted as I was, or just encourage every ridiculous notion that I had. Can you imagine?
"Honey, I was thinking about recording the sounds of hummingbirds."
"Well," my flighty artsy wife would declare, "you have to go catch them, first! Here, take this giant net, mating whistle, and hummingbird costume, and go!" My god, I'd get NOTHING constructive done!
Most importantly, spouses of artists need to understand that they'll always be competing with the muse for attention. If you love the artist you married, you definitely need to give them space to thrive in that facility. You knew about this aspect of them before getting married to them, and you have to remember to love and accept this aspect, after getting married to them. It is, however, a delicate line that needs to be balanced. Artists, by their very nature, can get self-absorbed, and it's just as important for the artist spouse to be sensitive to their non-artist spouses' needs, as much as they are about the needs of the artist. This means making sure that chores are done in the house before art is finished, not missing big dates like anniversaries because you're busy working on a new song, perhaps not doing every gallery opening since you had already made plans to hang out with another couple this coming weekend, or if you do drag your non-art spouse to the art opening, not spending all night there like you typically do. If you really lack self-control, you might even need to set an alarm to let you know when you need to walk away from a guilty pleasure project, and make time for your loved one.
In life, there is harmony in balance. Such is the case with the married artist, as well. There's great spiritual fulfillment with your art, but there's a whole lot more spiritual growth that you benefit from, spending time with your loved ones, too.