Saturday, December 27, 2008

Hit the Road, Jack: A Farewell to George W. Bush

A Farewell to W

It’s stunning that someone who has succeeded in screwing up every major decision possible somehow STILL got reelected. Then again, it’s honestly really debatable that you ever LEGITIMATELY got elected, ever. A perfect storm of right-wing media influence, a hive of your daddy’s political strings, and no paper trails have had to make honest people suddenly try to think like a dishonest person in order to figure out what will be the next stunt your kind will pull to try to stay in power. As a politician, your base requirements for any political position are only two things—be a competent public speaker, and step up to the plate when things get bad. You’ve failed horribly at both. You couldn’t give an adequate speech if you had teleprompters surgically implanted in your eyes. And as for handling disasters….well, if your mission was to fuck things up almost to the point of complete ruin, all I can say is, “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.”
Congrats on crippling our economy by trusting corporations that were larger than first-world countries, and deflating our country's power so much that the majority of the world is rooting for our enemies. You’ve succeeded in only encouraging minor antagonists like Russia and Venezuela to become very aggressive against us, with you’re your demonizing labels against them, instead of trying a little something called, “diplomacy” first. I guess that’s just not how they do it down in Texas. Shoot first and ask questions later seems like a much more sensible approach for a privileged half-retarded fundamentalist like yourself.
You’ve made the United States go from being the idol of the virtues of democracy and capitalism to looking like the bully in the schoolyard. A country that was once the vigilant protector of freedom has now made the words democracy and freedom sound like a sardonic punch line to a bitter joke. Our country’s fa├žade of respect was shredded away to reveal a country that looks like a spoiled teenager—fat, lazy, irrational, and selfish.
Just the fact that you chose to lower taxes on the richest in our country months after the largest catastrophe our country had experienced for sixty years was the first sign of your blatant lack of leadership and your contempt for the regular Joe. But it also demonstrated who you were really looking after--the rich, not the middle or lower class. Your encouragement of people to shop several days after the 9-11 disaster when the market was crashing showed the biggest truth--that money mattered more to you than the security of our country.
The justifications you made for invading countries like Iraq that had no real threat, except for the one to your father’s reputation, stunk from the very beginning. Yet you’re so inept you can’t catch a giant Afghan in the middle of the mountains that needs dialysis daily. Just be grateful that you had a Congress so scared about reelection that they went along with you on the invasion fiasco, and enough jingoistic nodding heads in Congress to go along with you. Nixon got pressured into bailing on his job after just getting caught sneaking into his political opponent’s office looking for political strategies, yet somehow you’re not tried nor convicted on leading our country falsely into war and killing over 4,000 soldiers and hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians within that country. God knows the official number of military casualties would have been higher if you hadn’t privatized your own personal group of assassins, known as Blackwater. You know, Nazis had their own “special group” of henchmen as well, known as the S.S.
I hope in future elections, when people choose to vote for the, “guy they’d want to have a beer with”, they also remember that this kind of guy is typically the same one who gets ripped out of his mind, try to pick fights for no reason, and throws up and passes out in the bar, as well.
You’ve changed me into a totally different person, as well. I have to admit, I didn’t vote for you in the first election, but that’s only because….I didn’t vote, period. I wasn’t involved nor concerned about politics in my country, and didn’t really care about who ran the place. I have to admit that I was part of the disinterested mass that didn’t feel that voting nor community involvement had any significance to the welfare of my life. But you’ve made me realize the true value of a certain quality of life, and how being a citizen of a country you love is very similar to a marriage--you have to work like hell to keep things good, ‘cause it’s way too easy to make it bad. I love this country, but didn’t realize how much I had taken it for granted until recently. You’ve opened my eyes way the hell up, and as much as its made me partially paranoid towards all people in power, it’s almost made me realize the kind of bullshit people will try to sell in order to take advantage of good, innocent people.
I realized that things have to get really bad before things ever get really good, as well. If gas was still $2.50 a gallon and the grand percentage of citizens weren’t going through foreclosure, clean alternative energy and real policy change wouldn’t even be real discussion points for the future president-elect.
So let me say in my final words, these statements: hit the road, Jack. Turn away, run away, and never, ever look back. I don’t EVER want to see you nor any of your kin, ever again. Not you, not your daddy, and for the love of god and all that is holy, none of your spawn, either. I can only be grateful as hell that you didn’t have any boys to carry the name on. Your daughter DID just marry a Congressional leader as well and you’ve already been giving her a lot more media coverage, so I see what you’re trying to pull. But trust me when I say that it’ll be a cold day in hell before we fall for that kind of bullshit again. And think about all you’ve done when your Day of Judgment finally comes, because you might have been able to fool a lot of the small, trusting people, but you’ll have a lot harder time explaining things to the Big Guy. And at that point, you’ll have all of eternity to think about every crooked thing you’ve ever, ever done. Good bye, go away, and NEVER come back.